1st Edition

Counseling Gems Thoughts For The Practitioner

By James P. Carnevale Copyright 1989
    184 Pages
    by Routledge

    184 Pages
    by Routledge

    First published in 1989. Counselling Gems provides 'how to' think about situations, it contains 110 'gems' arranged under eight section headings and helps the practitioner to gain ideas that can be used you understand better counseling and clients. It also provides an opportunity to know how a practitioner thinks about their role and relates to basic ways of thinking of clients, their problems and self. Through a sharing approach narrative, this text also reflects counselor educator and supervisor's basics concepts, aids the implementation of these concepts and contains useful notes of students made from hundreds of comments made by Dr Carnevale during practices.

    Introduction; Section I: Counseling Philosophy; 1: Counseling is helping people become aware of how they are creating their lives, based upon a belief system they have forgotten they believe.; 2: You must have filters through which to sift and organize all the “stuff” the client gives to you.; 3: The reason persons are not solving their life problems is not because they aren't smart enough but rather is because they are working with the wrong data.; 4: The power of positive thinking only works for those people who are already happy.; 5: Real clients are seldom easy clients with whom to work. If something significant wasn't wrong with them, they wouldn't be clients at all.; 6: Clients are better at being clients than most counselors are at being counselors.; 7: A 5 degree or 10 degree shift in the situation can be significant. A shift of 180 degrees is probably phony and won't last.; 8: All behavior has meaning and purpose in some context. Nothing is an accident.; 9: Habits become habits because they accomplish something very well.; 10: Defense mechanisms are chosen and maintained because they work so well.; 11: No all/nothings exist except for being pregnant.; 12: Remember that in counseling the problem is always sitting in the chair across from you... and so is the solution!!!; 13: Counseling is the TRUTH BUSINESS... and the truth is hard to find.; 14: Clients are seldom helpless. They have developed strange ways of succeeding.; 15: When a client agrees with you, that doesn't mean you are right; when they disagree with you, that doesn't mean you're wrong.; 16: People are not weak—they're just not in touch with their power.; 17: However you are feeling about the client or are responding to the client is probably what the client intended.; 18: A counseling relationship has several stages. The honeymoon is the fun part; then the work begins.; 19: Counselors lose more clients by doing too little too late than by doing too much too soon.; Section II: Goals and Boundaries of Counseling; 20: The counseling relationship has a unique set of parameters which carry a unique set of permissions.; 21: All problems in counseling are relationship problems. Period!; 22: All relationship problems are related to either power or intimacy.; 23: The client's problem is rarely the real problem. What the client thinks is the problem is usually a bothersome symptom.; 24: Mythology—the basis of it all.; 25: New insight and new language give the client some wiggle room for a change.; 26: The one who gives in gets even.; 27: Value-free counseling—it doesn't exist!; 28: Counseling is a process in which we try to avoid the win/lose part of living.; 29: Never let a client “IT” on you.; Section III: Clients' Reasons for Counseling; 30: For many people, seeing a counselor is an admission that they have failed.; 31: Sense of failure...; 32: Clients usually hope you can help make things better without changing anything, at least as far as they're concerned.; 33: In their hearts they know they're not to blame.; 34: The client secretly hopes that you too will fail. The the client won't look so stupid.; Section IV: Counselor's Role; 35: One can do only what he thinks is the right thing to do ... under the given circumstances.; 36: Responsibility: Creating one's life through choices…; 37: To be intimate means to be vulnerable—from a position of strength.; 38: You must train your client to be your client.; 39: I hold the counselor 75 to 80 percent responsible for what happens in a counseling interview.; 40: The counselor, not the client, is in control of the interview—a fact that many beginners forget.; 41: Give your clients hope. They need it.; 42: If clients have made such a mess of things, how can they ever depend on themselves again.; 43: Never contribute to the delinquency of your client.; 44: You must be willing to be responsible for making the client feel bad.; 45: Clients are excellent at what they are doing wrong.; 46: Sincerity does not mean truth.; 47: You cannot not communicate.; 48: Accepting one's humanness.; 49: The superego—you will either increase it or decrease it. Take your pick!; 50: Anger, fear, and sadness (or grief) are always that which the client is trying to avoid.; 51: If you have to explain what counseling is to a client, you probably aren't doing much of it.; 52: People who cry too easily are often covering up their anger. People who anger too easily are often covering up their tears.; 53: People who control their emotions may control more than they know.; 54: At different times in a counseling relationship I believe the client and the counselor are in a kind of war.; 55: Do you want me to be a good counselor or a bad one?; Section V: Problems in counseling; 56: Problems of counseling: Some are solved, others are resolved.; 57: What they have done to others they will do to you—somehow.; 58: Counseling ultimately deals with anger or fear or sadness. It is not a happy business.; 59: Misunderstanding the counselor is a great defense for the client.; 60: Too logical or too intuitive? That is the question!; 61: Clients are never “stuck” in their counseling—they are hanging on.; 62: Who's holding back—the counselor or client ?; 63: Depression: Is it anger, sadness or despair?; 64: Resentment—of whom?; Section VI: Techniques and Procedures; 65: There's no such thing as nothing.; 66: Don't listen to the client's story. Listen for their life-style within the story.; 67: Client history: On my terms only!; 68: Patterns of behavior, early memories, familiar situations—all can be keys to early intentionality.; 69: Your insight is good. Your client's developing that insight is better.; 70: Transference: When it happens, you've struck gold! Go for it!; 71: Catharsis doesn't cure anything; but it may be a step toward curing.; 72: I actually throw a “counselor switch” on and off at will.; 73: The best basis for establishing the counseling relationship is that of the counselor's competence, not of being friendly.; 74: Beginning the interview.; 75: Beginning the relationship.; 76: … And You?; 77: I hate the question, “How do you feel?” or “How are you feeling?”; 78: I always have three Here/Nows from which to choose.; 79: By-Pass the client's defenses.; 80: Humor in therapy is a tricky issue.; 81: To the largest extent possible, make the counseling session an experience of the client's life rather than a story about it.; 82: Here and Now: The great mystery.; 83: The famous “chairs,” and how to introduce them.; 84: About-ism versus now-ism.; 85: You just had a thought…; 86: And/But; 87: Find out what is, not what isn't.; 88: When a client is talking about “people,” they may be talking about you—check it out.; 89: Listen for a refrain. It may give you a clue to their style.; 90: When you make an intervention, pay particular attention to how the client defends against it—and then make another one!; 91: To make the client's material meaningful, intensify, intensify, intensify.; 92: Confrontation does not mean aggression!; 93: Subvocalization—you can't stop it, but you must change it.; 94: Another perspective…; 95: Suicide: I always take it seriously.; Section VII: Do and Don't; 96: Ask broad questions about narrow subjects.; 97: A great answer to a different question.; 98: K-I-S-S. K eep I t Super Simple.; 99: Spontaneity may mean you are unprepared! Rehearse some scenes at home. Develop mini-lecturettes for certain subjects.; 100: Body language—the least well defended.; 101: Talking “about” feelings without having feelings is seldom helpful.; 102: Counseling is not a social dialogue—don't be polite.; 103: Don't ask “why,” ask “what.”; 104: One question at a time.; 105: If you ask a question, don't you answer it.; 106: The client may be trying to entertain you—or himself/herself.; 107: Watch for the tears behind the laughter; 108: If you miss an important dynamic or piece of information, don't worry! If it is important,it will come up again.; Section VIII: Termination; 109: How do you end an interview? One way is to say STOP!; 110: When are you ready to stop counseling?

    Biography

    jame P. Carnevale